prejaculate:

i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry

slaive:

when you know you typed ur password wrong but you hit enter still hoping it’s correct

-onixxx:

Being an introvert AND having resting bitch face is not a good combination.

osjecam:

sorry i’m late, professor. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

toxicwinner:

the smarter u are the more men arent funny 

slayboybunny:

everything is a competition unless I’m losing and then fuck off not everything has to be a competition asshole